Is Addiction a Disease?

Is Addiction a Disease?

I have a friend, Allen, who at eighteen, became addicted to opiates. It was a horrible contrast that led to a couple of overdoses and a decade of misery. He was either high and out of his mind or he was sick from withdrawals and suffering, 100% of the time. I could relate in a way. I was addicted too, to benzodiazapine. That’s just the fancy word for Valium or Xanax of which I had a prescription for the maximum allowable amount when I was 22 and I made sure that I didn’t find out much about withdrawals during the very same decade. I thought that I was different, and in some ways I guess I did have a much different experience. In fact, even though he was a very close friend, all of our other friends and I had to separate ourselves from him. Nobody likes a guy that can’t handle his smack. Ya know.

There were many differences in our experiences actually. The main one being supply. My prescription was $8 a month, not even a quarter of what a dose of the drug he was addicted to cost at that time. I would get 120 every four weeks from the pharmacy and another 30 – 90, for $2 apiece, from a street dealer. Of course, Allen had to go out and hunt his down. And he did whatever was necessary. It’s a hard thing to get a grip on. He is responsible, but in a way I know that isn’t really him. Before the drugs he would have never stolen a candy bar. It seemed like no matter what the action and repercussion, he would put that drug first. It came in front of friendships and his relationship with his family. He stole from several of our mutual friends and I constantly heard crazy-Allen the addict stories. I did not consider myself an addict. I didn’t steal for it, I didn’t ruin friendships, I’m sure I kept the gossip mill busy, like him though, but I had an easy, steady supply of the drugs I was addicted to.

He forced us all away from him because of his behavior. We felt conflicted knowing that had he not tried drugs he would be the awesome guy that everyone liked. I’m sure he didn’t imagine he would ever become addicted. That’s never the goal. If you’ve faced addiction before, then you know exactly what I’m talking about. If you haven’t then you are taking the same position that we took right before we became addicted.  Of course, I’m sure you are in no danger. The difference was that were doing drugs then justifying it with denial, because prior to being addicted you could never image that life of constant dependence on a chemical. It often happens quickly because of the snowball effect that accompanies the feelings of sudden worthlessness. I believe Allen went through that as well.

I remember coming back for three weeks in the Army to do a Hometown recruiting Program before I became addicted to Xanax. When I left, Allen wasn’t addicted either, but in 90 days when I got back, I was shocked to see how he had changed. He lost his laid-back personality and charisma that caused everyone to like him. Allen was something else now. It was like a body-snatcher got him. I didn’t see the day to day contrast, but he was addicted heavily very fast.  I will never forget how he told me his back was starting to hurt and he needed forty dollars and got upset when I didn’t have it. I knew that he was off then.

A couple of years later, I got out of the Army for good and Allen hadn’t even gotten his driver’s license yet. He still doesn’t and he is 33 years old. He won’t have the opportunity for another three and a half years. He is finishing up a 12 year sentence for a drug related incident. I get letters from him and it breaks my heart that he is going through the torture that he is.

I only recently started wondering what made him so different. I always thought he just turned into a scumbag because he didn’t care about anything but OxyContin and movies…until he pawned his DVD player and cable was out of the question. For the price of a month of the premium package he could get an 80 mg pill and be high for five hours. I didn’t understand that kind of an addiction. He and I had different severities of addictions because, again the supply, and the price. time, until I got hooked on oxycodone in 2011 after trying it once. I couldn’t think about anything else the next day until I crushed one up (one means three, by the way) sniffed it off the bathroom sink. But, I watched him do them with other friends of ours and they didn’t steal from each other and get sick from doing it every day. Those things were so expensive, that my other friends that did them, did them about twice a month and eventually just quit spending the money. Money meant nothing to Allen in the presence of an oxy. He would pay whatever the dealer wanted. That’s why they became so expensive. I knew a hundred other people just like Allen in the town we lived in.

And just like Allen, the part of their brain located in their frontal lobe had no problem differentiating the euphoria of dopamine made in a lab, from the depleted neurotransmitter that used to be made in his head and associating that pill with the feeling. Seeing how many people that do become addicted to strong opiates after several days of abuse, compared to the individuals who do not, I could almost argue that it’s not a disease. That’s normal. However, I am familiar with the numbers polled by NIDA*, ASAM* and the like. The vast majority do not become addicted when they experiment with the same thing that had him at hello.

I have no excuse. His addiction is what kept me from using opiates myself for all of those years. I thought benzos (Xanax) were nothing compared to opiates, like oxys, dilaudide, morphine, heroin, fentynal and opnana. They may not be as instantly addicting for some of us, but when I was so high all of the time from abusing both, I didn’t stand a chance. I think opiates kept me at bay by the preventive prices for all those years, but when I discovered Tampa, FL and it’s plethora of Pill Mills, prior to House bill 7095 which stopped doctors from writing so many with a dozen or so sanctions, and prevented patients from “doc shopping”, making appointments with multiple crooked doctors, by instituting a database and policies on its mandatory use, Florida’s free-for-all ended overnight in November of 2011. I saw it on the news from the Hillsborough County Jail, in Tampa. I finally ran out of benzos, and I understood the desperation that Allen had been living with.

I didn’t know it then, but your panic switch is on permanent because the part of your brain that keeps us alive in dangerous situation is activated, and though you don’t consciously think so, your grey matter in charge of survival thinks you are going to die. In fact, random neurons are firing at a rate that often causes seizures and actually can lead to death. It causes painful tension that leads to insanity within a few days. The worst part is that when the “acute withdrawal is over, your brain may not return to its pre-addicted condition for many years. This is called post-acute withdrawal syndrome and it’s indescribable, because of the duration and the level of intensity, even though the brain has started healing and producing the neurotransmitters that it ceased to create when it was receiving either GABA or dopamine, without getting too technical, for benzos and opiates respectively.

The thing about addiction is that nobody expects it. I didn’t. I’ve often heard people explain that they don’t  get addicted, no matter, if the use occasionally, which is actually likely, but if someone has to explain that , then the chances are that they are saying that for their own benefit to justify abusing the drug, which is a common indication of denial of the disease.

National Institute on Drug Abuse

www.nida.org

NIDA is a huge Federal Agency that is responsible for research, funding, treatments, drug policy consukting

and anything relating to the relationship between drugs and everything affected by drugs. This is the Agency

that should have jurisdiction over drug policy reform in the US, I believe. 

NIDA was partly responsible for the recent teduction in severity scheduling reduction of marijuana from it's

ridiculously high Federal status of Schedule 1, which meant that the Federal government regarded pot

as having the highest potential for addiction and no medicinal purposes.

NIDA was the first agency to solve drug related problems with science. It was established in 1955 and has

significantly improved the level of drug recovery quality in America since it's inception.

American Society of Addiction Medicine

www.asam.org

These are two of several giant researchers of drugs through scientific method. ASAM predates NIDA and it was 
previoujsly a NY Physicians Association focusing on .Addiction. They added the AM Addiction Medicine in the 
seventies when most of there funding was from another giant that is ultimately subservient to NIDA. They started recieving funds then directly from NIDA to research and develop medical treatments. This organization advocates for the treatment of addiction medically and educates physicians and certifies then to be able to administer addiction medicine programs.

The website I am working on, is https://addictX.org. For some reason it is in groundhog's day mode. Everyday, I add content and come back and it's disappeared. I am going to switch back to an easier to use CRM until I figure out the problem. Check it out. I'm on Facebook, Linkedin, Instagram and rarely twitter, but I have to crank it up a notch. I am going to be depending on my community and online supporters to implement the Focused Life Program in a transitional housing environment in Octtober. If you would like to help. Please, join me and be a part of Focused Life. I know this program will succeed. But, the more people who care and can help the better. Thank you. And, please, be the first to leave a comment on this blog.

How bad will it get before we see a change?

How can people be programmed like a machine? 
It's been a ten days since we saw Baltimore break out in what I would say is "minor rioting". I'm not here to debate the level of damage or violence and I know that a riot like that hasn't happened in quite some time. Many of our members of society were glued to the tube, hanging on every word Nancy Grace, Barrack Obama and Bill O'Reilly said.  That's where the problem lies. We as a nation are too conditioned by "social proof". If something new our unusual happens we often look to others when decided how to properly react. In this case, those others were the talking heads on TV. Its human nature to do this and its part of how we develop our belief systems over time, especially when we are developing them. Most of us will subscribe to the dominant theory, keep our head down, never question it, not because we are sheep or anything like that, but because we are so frickin distracted. 

We all have several roles we play in life. And, we literally 'play' those roles. We act different around different people, in different environments. We can usually sense when a trend is shifting that directly concerns peer appraisal of an aspect of one of our roles. It's a lot harder to notice the beginning of a revolution that will demolish Versailles and the beheaders meet the guillotine. I hope you follow that I wish no ill will towards those who are the oppressors in our society, and if I could’ve saved Marie Antoinette, I wo……...

I do wish that we could start to acknowledge it. I was even a little disappointed with the way things turned out in Baltimore. I didn't want to see any violence or vandalism, but we missed an opportunity to show the leaders what the American people are capable of. We can peaceably assemble and do it at the capitol, with a mob.  

We sit, governed by an entity that is not holding up its part of the bargain, and the reasons why are beyond the scope of this post and even the scope of this blog. We are programmed to be incapable of showing our bought and paid for leadership and the institutions that suck up tax payer's scarce resources simply to maintain their place in the establishment. I know that it will continue to get worse and worse and more of our constitutional rights will be interpreted away based on party affiliations and lobbying corporate interests.

It’s not okay for me to spew negativity. I am passionate about the spin on injustice that we are suckered into buying, or have no choice in this free nation. I apologize for the attitude of this post, but I continue to be disturbed by these games that satisfy the masses. Had there been no riots, there would have been no indictments passed down to those trained killers, and bullies who’ve lived with impunity in a different world be having brunch right now.

"Often your thoughts are not your own."

We give enforcing entities a little power as civil servants or agencies and it's not enough. We pay for their salaries and it's not enough, they take valuable seizures to earn more, they make decisions based on personal agendas that have ended or are postponing the freedom of one in every 100 adult, American men's lives: 1 in 9 African-American lives*. It's not okay. Now, that money is a prime aspect and the hundreds of thousands of Americans that get rich off of the suffering of the millions of socially inferior or less fortunate (by way of birth, environment or genetics), complicate things even further and have caused a divide in our cities, families and especially in Washington. Take a closer look. We pledge allegiance to a political party and not to our country. We have a nation that we could be proud of still, but I see it getting worse. Of course, it will get worse before it gets better, if we don’t allow the scale in hands of “blind justice” to tip beyond a point of return.

I am done spouting and I’ll get to the real point I’d like to make. This is the reason that half of the readers are shaking their heads. Posts like this one can quickly ruin ones credibility, but at the risk of doing just that I will tell you only the truth. If you don’t subscribe to my point of view, I believe you just haven’t had the time to examine the nature of our system of order and justice.

The Bible says, “The love of Money is the root of all evil.”  However, more often you can hear it correctly misconstrued when stated.

If money isn’t the root of evil, it sure as hell is the root of distraction. Most of us are forced to spend most of our time chasing, thinking about, or working for it. I want to challenge my readers to think of the reasons this is. I’m not claiming a conspiracy. I simply believe that when you view money for what it really is that your very attitude towards it will put it in the back seat to what is important.

In my experience, the more I see it as the illusion of fractal and centralized banking the easier it is for me to create it in my life. Money is the biggest, but it’s only one distraction. Distractions come from every direction, even within our own minds. You have an often untamed babbling of nonsense that springs forth from, God knows where. I believe we all have this baseless “voice” that never shuts up. And, you shouldn’t want it to. It is to be mastered; the first thing on your path to lasting change. Even though, it is ongoing and the only off buttons, have a small side effect of unconsciousness. Since there isn’t an off switch, find the volume knob. This is a powerful step. The way to figuratively “turn down” this scripting is through an understanding of how the radio works. There is a popular consensus of where the station comes from, but a shift in your perception doesn’t literally turn it down, it empowers one to choose how sensitive one is to this Kim Kardashian in your head. Why would you listen to something that limits your fulfillment? The consensus I spoke of, belongs to more than the self-help gurus, it belongs to all men who conquer self. It comes from conditioning, programing, brainwashing, you pick the name, but the primary sources are clear

I want to challenge every reader to put any bias and ego aside and use your concentrated perception, not on Ms. Grace's words, but the very valid emotions and assessments that come from a logical mind when it is clear of all programming. I hate to think that I am a puppet, and that's how I felt when I realized that my own thoughts were not my own. Your thoughts are not your own. You are subject to conditioning just like anyone else. The mainstream media is not the best place to get your fix of current events. Unless, of course, you want your news poisoned with programming that we often adoringly call "spin". Spin is deceit and that's a fact; no spin. 

Are you good at your job? How about if you have 20 years’ experience?  How good would you be? What if your job was to play Chess and you studied and learned from mentors early on, mentoring others later and had a couple of hundred years of Chess industry information to draw on? You'd be pretty damn good right? Now, imagine you are teaching new Chess students to play, but you’re super powerful Chess boss creates an environment where you and all of the best Chess players compete, not on the board, but against one another for a coveted position of prestige. The only catch is; these noob Chess players aren't to be taught how to play effectively, they are only to be distracted with learning how to move a couple of pawns. If you can effectively get them to believe they are getting really good, and their Chess style is better than a competing style, you get the coveted position of prestige. These students come to Chess class daily to hear your leftmost pawn movement theories, but you really know how to annihilate your opponent on the board. Power corrupts, and you'd like to keep your status and not fall from Grace, so to compensate for the deceit that you are filling these many student's lives with you shift your views. Of course, you can still destroy any other Chess player, but you convince yourself that the leftmost pawn theory is one of the most important beginning and middle game aspects. Hell, you even start to move your left pawn first when you play.

If a student notices that there is much more going on behind the row of pawns and is bold or dull enough to stand in front of the rest of the students and suggest that there may be more to it than this, he is invited to make clear his points. With your leftmost pawn, you start and as the others watch, laughing at his absurd notion, you go on to make a quick victim of him. Everyone, including yourself is reinforced in left-pawn theory, and rarely ever will anyone raise their hand to suggest otherwise again. Subgroups may for believing the bishop, or knight is key. But they are so distracted they don't realize that controlling the most squares, and the important squares could be a factor. During their days of lifelong right-pawn Chess students, they have many other distracting roles. When they turn the TV off in the morning after recharging their conditioning of pawn theory, they must go off and pay even closer attention to their tainted Monopoly class, maintaining the ability to watch your Chess class on a 65 inch curved smart TV, with instant playback, and pointless features. Not everyone buys into your theory of pawn power, but they identify with it while they are able to get better and better at Monopoly and trade that game for hotels. Some get caught up in pawn theory and all of the other distractions and trade Monopoly for Sorry or even worse: Candy Land, the most distracting game of all.

The code must be entered consistently as the person develops. Some things we believe are ridiculous. We would still believe in Santa if everyone else did and there was no one to tell us when we are 7 that he is only a myth.

How to keep up Momentum Part 2

How to beat YesterYou pt. 2

I lost it because of a silly reason. As I started gaining weight and muscles, I kept refining my workouts and taking my diet more and more seriously, because that’s what I wanted to do. The desired effect became more important than the interruption in fun, or bad taste it might cause. When you lose that perceived value of importance in your health, you will not diet, work out, jog or make any changes in your life. You can always live at a higher level. You have to choose to live down here. I hope we can go live up there together, because I used to and it’s awesome. As I took my appearance more seriously, I started anticipating seeing the reaction from my friends back home, because I had gained a third of my normal weight and packed it on and kept myself ripped, by dieting (the wrong diet, I didn’t know anything back then and still got the result from the zone) running and sit-ups.  

I went home and it was awesome. Everyone reacted just like I imagined, I had the best time and got positive attention, which I craved. That’s another story. I achieved my goal. When I went back to Ft. Bragg, I felt like I had accomplished the mission, so I didn’t return to the gym and in 4 or 5 months I lost all that mass I had worked for.  Don’t let life trick you like it did me. This is something you find the motivation to do and then once it’s a habit you never let it go. You may never get it again.

I’m on LinkedIn, let’s connect.

There is one way to make absolutely sure that you don’t lose it and its simple when you’re in a dedicated state. You must improve every day momentum. It’s how a snowball that is worried about the candle lit in its presence becomes an avalanche and the problems that used to plague you, are snuffed out before you even notice them. In the end, and it takes a while to realize this, because we are all people. You look at powerful person or even more a person who has contributed to mankind a great deal and hear clichés like, ”He puts his pants on one leg at a time, like me. But, those clichés are the cleverest weapon that the snowflakes have made. For some reason flakes tend to believe these clichés because they rhyme or perfectly fit in a metaphor. But, don’t be fooled on this one, you are a very powerful person already. The potential that you have would change the world. You can release it and start living to the fullest and enjoying life more immediately. The zone doesn’t’ come to you. You have to go there and stay.

Making a change last takes momentum. Every day you have to improve on the man or woman you were before. Every morning you have to gather your priorities by whatever methods and tools you like to use. And, every night you must measure your success and keep an open mind. Use what works dump what doesn’t. I hope that reading this has improved your life. Take something away from this and everything you do, read, everyone you talk to. Don’t waste your time and don’t let experiences be wasted on you. We are not in a competition against each other, but we are in competition against ourselves. Don’t ever let #Yesteryou beat you. Because we may all look the same. We all have arms, a head, legs, a torso, for the most part. We all are generally the same size in stature within a few feet. But, one day you will see that the ones that fought every minute of every day, they didn’t listen to the naysayers, they didn’t stick with the crowd, are avalanches compared to a snowball crying, melting because of a small problem  until the influence of the avalanche destroys the problem for the smaller now ball of snow.

If you are that guy that complains about things that everyone faces, don’t feel bad, most of us have been there. Make that today’s improvement. Make it a point to accept traffic and not yell at the guy that accidentally cuts you off. He can’t hear you, your passengers can, even if it’s only you. Don’t ruin your own afternoon for his sake and a small problem. Remember to always be grateful, it changes the way your subconscious operates. And, it leads you to an abundant life.

These changes are small, but they can make a large difference in the end.

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Focused Life Coursework, meshed together. I want this to reach as many people as possible and the only way it goes out

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Keeping Up Your Momentum

Keeping your Momentum from Motivation

How to Beat YesterYou Part I of II 

Acquiring the motivation to get up an hour early so you can do something you initially perceive to be unpleasant is your goal. You want a better look, better health and more energy. That is a noble goal worth the hour loss of sleep. This is probably one of the most common habits that people want to start. It tops my list. I mentioned in earlier posts that I have been in "the zone" before, and let it go. I learned a lesson with that: it’s much easier to retain it than to regain it. 

With that said, in this post we are assuming you have it. You are in the zone and you move from your center. You make decisions and don’t fumble around second-guessing yourself. When you need to work out, there is no debate in your mind about whether you should or shouldn’t. The pros and cons have already been hashed out and you’ve made this a habit.

The lawyer in head that represents instant gratification, might as well be a public defender. She doesn’t care enough to argue any longer. She has been shushed and the real you, the part that represents your place in humanity has beaten down the primal urges to do what you feel like, eat what tastes the best and follow the laws of inertia, the same way a lump of coal does. If you are experiencing these things, you can be sure you are in “The Zone”.

You do not want to take risks in losing this state of being. The quality of your life experience is largely based on your ability to control your self, if not totally based on this.

I’m sure there are plenty of people who have no problem reaching this state of being. For me it takes motivation, self-denial, mental and emotional fortitude, timing and a little bit of luck. I’m sure this is different for everyone. Twice I have felt like I was in the zone and there is nothing better. It is worth any price, and the above tag is not very expensive.

Its value comes from…well, every aspect of your life. Like we mentioned up top, you look better, have more energy, you’re healthier and decision making and self-confidence are positively affected. But, I will tell you what it felt like for me and then I will tell you how I lost these states. And, I will give you the one word that is key to staying in this state. It’s already all up in this blog post, so you may have already guessed it. It’s no secret of the ages. It’s the rule that applies to us all who want to improve each day in every way.

When I was twenty and again when I was twenty-six, I was in the zone and I knew it. My friends and I called it super-dedication mode. I thought it was just applied to my working out, but in any way imaginable my life was better. The first time I was dumb kid and only held on to this until an approaching leave from the Army was completed. I started in February working out and denying myself certain things as a fast for God. It was an important factor in attaining the desired state, but I didn’t know that at the time. I lost it as quick as I got it though. I didn’t know how much I was losing when I let it slip away.

I got much more attention from the opposite sex because anyone looks 10x better than when they aren’t. I was treated differently by everyone. My superiors in the military and peers treated me with more respect. I’ve talked with a lot of people about this particular phenomenon, and almost every person says the reason is because the one treating me with respect sees that I was a responsible person and thus the higher level of respect. I believe that it is much more 

emotionally driven than intellectually. I think it is a caveman thing. I felt fantastic every day. I have had anxiety issues especially during the end of my term in the military and after, but I had no anxiety when I was keeping myself up. I was happy. To be direct and not mention every little thing that was improved, I’ll shorten the description. The laws of nature bent to my will, just a little. Good things happened to me and I was grateful which made more good things happen if only in my mind.

 See ya tomorrow comment and bookmark